Effingham Daily News, Effingham, IL

Local News

April 30, 2014

Conservative deer still fear communism

The animal kingdom has much to teach us, which is why people call you a “sheep” if you don’t vote the way they do. They want to establish that you are a sheep, a muncher of grass, a wooly fool, while they are lions, eaters of meat, crackers of bones.

In then Czechoslovakia, where the Iron Curtain used to be represented by three rows of electric fencing, memories linger, even among our furry buddies.

The electric fences came down 25 years ago. Still, Czech scientists report, red deer living near the former Iron Curtain won’t cross the line.

The Czechs, who are not as progressive as we are, have not yet devised an “affirmative action” program for the deer, a program which would involve carrying the deer across the former border and exposing them to all the tasty grazing on the other side.

An Associated Press story about this bit of natural history tells us that 300 deer were fitted out with GPS-equipped collars and scientists found that, perhaps driven by some ancestral memory of the electric fence, red deer will not cross the line.

“These animals are really conservative,” said professor Ludek Bartos of the Czech University of Life Sciences in Prague.

And they are.

Like conservatives in our country, the deer don’t like crossing lines created centuries ago. They fear fences they can’t see. A deer generation is only about 15 years, so no deer now alive ever even saw the fence.

But their deer parents and their deer leaders told them never to cross the line or something bad would happen, and the deer believed them because they are, as the scientists say, “really conservative”.

No new experiences for the deer. No mingling with the deer on the other side of the line that isn’t there anymore. If the deer could vote, come election time, they would remember that they are “red” deer and none of them would vote for a deer that wasn’t red, a deer whose parents weren’t born on the right side of the line that doesn’t exist anymore.

Text Only
Local News
  • tony- app maker 1.jpg Dieterich grad markets word game application

    Dalton Hinterscher is something of a Renaissance man in the making.

    July 31, 2014 1 Photo

  • MIller, Jay C 021314.jpg Miller sentenced to 17 years in heroin death

     An Altamont man was sentenced Thursday to 17 years in prison in connection with the fatal heroin overdose of an Effingham woman earlier this year.

    July 31, 2014 1 Photo

  • No Headline Provided SPRINGFIELD (AP) — Here are the winning numbers selected Wednesday in the Illinois State Lottery:My 3-Midday6-2-4My 3-Evening4-7-5Pick Three-Midday4-8-0Fireball: 3Pick Three-Evening5-6-0Fireball: 4Pick Four-Midday3-5-5-1Fireball: 2Pick Four-Evening6-

    July 31, 2014

  • tony- dieterich app maker pic Dieterich grad markets word game application TONY HUFFMANDaily NewsDalton Hinterscher is something of a Renaissance man in the making.A former standout basketball player at Dieterich High School, Hinterscher followed his intellectual pursuits into college. Entering his second year as a Software

    July 31, 2014 2 Photos

  • Complex support divides council All indications at Tuesday’s special meeting of the Effingham City Council indicates Effingham Park District will not get the $1 million it is asking for to help build the Richard E. Workman Sports and Wellness Center.In fact, Mayor Merv Gillenwater

    July 30, 2014

  • Correction It was incorrectly reported in Saturday’s Effingham Daily News that federal sex crime suspect Nathan Maphis was at large. Maphis is being held in Madison County Jail. The newspaper erred. Bill Grimes can be reached at 217-347-7151, ext. 132, at bill.

    July 30, 2014

  • tony- community garden 2 Learning and growing together The installation of a Effingham Community Garden sign marks the growing success of a common place for Effingham residents to cultivate plants and produce.“We have 23 large plots and two small plots out here this year,” said University of Illinois Mas

    July 30, 2014 2 Photos

  • 7-30 kitchen fire pic Kitchen fire damages home An unattended kitchen stove led to a full-still fire call at 507 Park Hills Drive Tuesday afternoon.A passerby made a 911 call and reported visible smoke from the eaves of the home at 1:16 p.m. Arriving on scene, Effingham firefighters entered the ho

    July 30, 2014 1 Photo

  • Man fatally shot in Pana standoff, officer wounded

    Illinois State Police(ISP) and Christian County Sheriff's Office are investigating a shooting that occurred on Tuesday, July 29, in rural Christian County that involved ISP SWAT, a Pana Police officer and an armed offender.

    July 29, 2014

  • City to determine contribution A request by Effingham Park District representatives for a million dollars to help construct the Richard E. Workman Sports and Wellness Center is being considered at a special Effingham City Council meeting this evening.Some commissioners questioned

    July 29, 2014

AP Video
Parade
Magazine

Click HERE to read all your Parade favorites including Hollywood Wire, Celebrity interviews and photo galleries, Food recipes and cooking tips, Games and lots more.